Planting Seeds

January 20, 2012 By 2 Comments
the wise gardener plants seeds of opportunity even when there is snow on the ground

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In life and in business, opportunities and possibilities are abundant. Laying the foundation for opportunity however, requires vision, discipline, commitment and often forgotten but very important, patience. A clear vision of what we want. A disciplined mind to keep us focused on achieving what we want. A commitment to strike a balance between taking action and pausing. And this is where patience comes into play. Often times when we are planting seeds for new possibilities, we need to take a pause.  The pause can be as important as the action. The pause is a time of reflection. It is a time for questions. It is a time for learning. The pause requires patience. And patience, as we’ve often heard, is a virtue. 

We are all gardeners. Gardeners in life and or in business. And as gardeners, we need to find that healthy balance so that we are planting seeds throughout the year rather than making it an annual event. If we have a vision for what we want to accomplish, we need only to plant the seeds. Take the time to create a plan, to determine the resources we have as well as the resources we need to acquire. We need to be open to questioning our plan and our motives as we continue. This only creates further clarity. Take a pause when needed. Take stock of the seeds. Do they align with our vision? How might they be even better aligned to support our overall goals?

And then watch. I invite you to sit in the bigscreen theatre of life. To believe. To watch as our seeds sprout. Our “ideas” and “hopes” and “dreams” come to fruition but first we must plant the seeds.

Best wishes for healthy sprouts!

Glo

(C) 2012 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Why Feelings Matter

January 9, 2012 By 4 Comments

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

I’ve heard this quote from Maya Angelou so many times and every time I hear it, it brings a different meaning and a different memory. It’s no big secret. Some people are comfortable openly discussing their feelings and expressing emotion and some people are not. I’m at work! I don’t want to talk about my feelings or emotions! Who cares how I feel or how you feel? I do. I care. And you may too.

Our feelings and our emotions play a big role in how we make decisions, whether we realize it or not. When we say something feels right or feels wrong, we are relying on our intuition to guide us. When we make decisions, we may look at the facts first but when it comes to the heart of the problem or the issue, we rely on our morals and ethics. Even for those who typically make decisions based on logic and reason, often there is also that inner voice telling you what is good or bad, true or false, honest or dishonest. Life is life. Business is business. It is rarely, if ever, made up of simple checks and balances. Sometimes, it’s just plain complicated. As author of Defining Moments, Joseph Badaracco Jr. says, sometimes we’re making decisions between right and right. We all experience these ”defining moments” at one time or another. These moments define who we are. They speak to our personal values and they show the world what we believe in. These moments bring emotions to the forefront and they shape our character.

As Maya Angelou says so well, “people will never forget how you made them feel.” When you think of the people who have played a positive role in your life, have you ever stopped to think exactly why these people made you feel good? Were they trustworthy? Loving? Supportive?  Did they challenge you? Did they bring out the best in you? What have you learned from these experiences that shape who you are and how you treat people? Have you ever gone back to tell someone what a profound impact they had on you? How do you think that made them feel? Has someone ever done that for you? Wow, what a feeling that is!

Howard Gardner wrote a book in 2007 called Five Minds for the Future. He speaks of the disciplinary mind, the synthesizing mind, the creating mind, the respectful mind, and the ethical mind in leadership. If you are interested in learning how to stimulate your brain in a new way, it is a great read. It also speaks to the relationship between emotions, feelings, respect, and ethics. These combined, act as a guide for treating people well and help us when making important decisions.

Hopefully this post made you “feel good” and brought back memories of people who treated you with respect and made you feel good!

With gratitude, Glo

(C) 2012 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Do you believe in miracles?

November 28, 2011 By 2 Comments

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One could say that miracles are like magic. Some believe, some don’t, so what.  Well, the so what factor happens to be very telling. It is telling of who we are as individuals. What our personal values are. What brings meaning to our lives. It is telling of how we make decisions.

Life today is complex yet simple. Business today is chaotic yet inspiring. Tiny miracles pop up out of nowhere it seems and surprise us. These miracles create small change and massive change in both individuals and in organizations. These tiny miracles create insights often leading to wisdom.

The laws of nature … describe the ways in which the world—including, of course, human beings—works when left to itself, when not interfered with. A miracle occurs when the world is not left to itself, when something distinct from the natural order as a whole intrudes into it. (Mackie 1982: 19–20)

But alas, you must believe. You must believe in what is possible. You must accept that it’s ok not to know the how part of the equasion. A difficult task no doubt. You must get comfortable with not being right. Easier for some than for others. Not everything in this world is a result of cause and effect. For instance, you must believe that what you say and do truly matter. And it matters because at the heart of what we say and do is our personal integrity. But to believe that anything is possible, that miracles do occur and often when we least expect them, because a butterfly flapped it’s wings in another part of the world, this is to believe in miracles.

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

Miracles are all around us. We just need to open our eyes and hearts in order to see and feel them.

Note: Many of the ideas from this post were generated through the work of Margaret J. Wheatley’s, Leadership and the New Science.

Cheers, Glo

C (2011) - True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Frost on the pumpkin

October 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment

First frost, brrrrr!  Need to bundle up to take the dog for a walk in the morning.  It’s no secret that summer is my favorite season but there is much to be said for curling up by the fire, wearing cozy fleece, that first blush of cool air as it hits your face when you open the door, crock pot dinners, and pumpkins.  Yes, that’s right, I said pumpkins.  Can anything make you feel like a kid again faster than Halloween and a pumpkin patch?  Is this picture of my neice Jenna (many moons ago) not the cutest thing ever?

Halloween is kind of a cool time of year because wearing a costume allows us to become someone else, to try it out, try it on, and to see if we like it.  Maybe we will like it more.  Maybe others will notice too.  Maybe this is when we believe we are at our best because we are open to growing, learning. changing behaviours, attitudes and actions to create better and more positive outcomes.  This is the true value of coaching.  It allows us to design our futures and to try things on for size. 

When you think of all of the pumpkins in a pumpkin patch, what do you notice?  I notice that they are all different sizes, shapes, colors and although there are a ton of them we seem to be able to pick out the one that is just perfect (for us).  Well, just like picking out your pumpkin you have the inner wisdom to make choices that are perfect (for you) in all aspects of your life, personal and professional.  It’s true that some choices are made for us but we also have choices to make about  who we become as a result of those choices.  Are we victims?  Are we assigning blame or are we active participants in our own lives (thanks, Katie!) trying on different costumes while remaining true to ourselves and living with personal integrity?  I vote for the latter.  What about you?  Looking to make a change?  If so, remember that you have choices.  Get inspired by your inner wisdom! 

 

Cheers, Glo

(C) 2011 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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A wonderful weekend read

October 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

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It must be October.  It is a chilly and overcast Sunday afternoon. The fireplace is on for the first time this season.  Marc is making my favorite soup (mulligatawny).  The dog is snoring away in front of the fire.  And I am reading this most amazing book.  The kind that you can’t put down.  The kind that has you going back to re read a specific passage or jumping ahead to take a quick look at what is in store in the next chapter. 

Ironically, I received Leadership and the New Science by author Margaret J. Wheatley for Christmas last year from our son, Tom.  It has been sitting on my night table ever since, waiting patiently. Waiting for that right moment in time when reading oodles of new journal articles for my research paper would become less urgent.  I had read one chapter of this book last fall during one of the courses in my program, Leadership of Organizational Change.  It was on the list of recommended reading by our Professor, Dr. Jamie Gruman.  I enjoyed that chapter so much, I wanted more…and more I got…

This isn’t a book review.  I simply wanted to share with you a few quotes that have my mind churning with possibility, curiosity and hope.  Not only as a leadership coach, but as a lover of life and people.  If it inspires you to purchase the book and to read further, enjoy…I know I certainly have.

“I find pleasure in letting these new ideas swirl freely inside me. Like clouds, they begin as mist, then take form, then dissipate. Clouds themselves are self-organizing, taking new shape as thunderstorms, hurricanes, or rain fronts depending on changes in their environment. We are capable of similar transformations; new ideas can emerge as powerful insights if we allow them the freedom to self-organize.  And there is much we can learn from clouds.  They are spectacular examples of fluid and responsive systems, structured in ways we never imagined possible: ‘”After all, how do you hold a hundred tons of water in the air with no visible means of support? You build a cloud”‘ (Cole 1985, 38) (Wheatley, 2006, 90).

“In all types of organizations, too many filled with people exhausted, cynical, and burned-out, I have witnessed the incredible levels of energy and passion that can be evoked when leaders or colleagues take the time to recall  people to the meaning of their work.  It only takes a simple but powerful question: ‘”What called you here? What were you dreaming you might accomplish when you first came to work here?”  This question always elicits a deep response because so few of us work for trivial purposes.  Most people come to their organizations with a desire to do something meaningful, to contribute and serve…If we are asked to recall that inner belief, and if we hear our colleagues speak about their own yearnings to make a small difference, we feel new energy for the work and for each other.  The call of meaning is unlike any other, and we would do well to spend more time together listening for the deep wells of purpose that nourish all of us” (Wheatley, 2006, 133).

Hoping these may have resonated with you and possibly elicited thoughts of learning, change and engagement.  Back to my book…last chapter…this time around.

Happy Sunday.

Glo

(c) 2011- True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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“Back to school” has new meaning…

September 25, 2011 By 4 Comments

The term back to school has different meanings for a few of my family members this year.  My niece Jenna (left) is a second year student at The University of Western Ontario commonly known as Western. (Can you tell I just copied the uni name directly from her facebook profile?) Jenna is doing a B.Sc. honours with a specialization in biology also known as she is a science brainiac. I will never forget how excited she was in high school to report dissecting some strange rodent. Gross! What is new for Jenna this year is that she is no longer in residence making university life a completely different experience for her. She is sharing a house with 4 other girls and lovin’ it. Now don’t get me wrong.  Jenna isn’t exactly “slumming” it in London! She and her roomies have created a pretty cool haven for living the good life with a little bit of room for studying. Jenna has been a continuous source of encouragement and inspiration for me during my academic journey. When I was taking Research Methods (insert I failed Grade 9 math), it was Jenna that I reached out to for support.

Next up is my niece Katie (right). Katie is a 30 something first year film loving student at York University in Toronto. She is enrolled in the four year honours program for film studies which also means she watches all of those movies that the general population has never heard of! This has been a big year of change for Katie and the changes aren’t finished. She went to New York and to Europe for the first time, moved in with her boyfriend and most recently gave up her job as an admin to go back to school and pursue her love of film. I secretly wonder if this photo of her looking up at the statue of Napolean in sheer awe is simply a precursor to her new journey with university life!  She too, has been an amazing sense of encouragement and support.  In fact, I believe Katie was the first one to say “you should do a PhD!”

Soooo…speaking of PhD…this is something that is on my mind these days. I must admit that it comes and goes though. Presently I’m doing a research paper towards completion of an M.A. Leadership degree at the University of Guelph. Yup! Even though I was scared to death and I REALLY was, I went back to school in my mid 40′s to pursue a university degree and to enhance my learning as an executive coach. I have never looked back. It has been a very challenging yet rewarding experience. 

Back to the flip flop…Because I am so passionate about my research topic (using executive coaching to increase employee engagement), there are days and fleeting moments when I don’t want it to end. I want to be able to take my topic and the “coaching for engagement” model that I have developed and take it to the next level. But hello! We’re talking about four years here and there are SO many things to consider! Fortunately for me, my amazing husband Marc, is 100% behind me.

While I am contemplating this massive decision and researching what it “truly” means, I also have a new view of back to school. I am a Teaching Assistant to the new cohort in my program for Leadership of Organizational Change. Teaching and the education system seem to run through the veins in my family.  My Mom was our elementary school secretary.  My Dad completed his university degree while working full-time in the military. My sister Anne, is a teacher who completed her teaching degree with two young children in tow.  My sister Deborah, is a teacher who has just experienced her last back to school and is retiring in June 2012 to pursue her love of travel and LEGO (not necessarily in that order!).  And my sister Linda is pursuing her Chefs diploma while juggling a very busy career and family life. 

Along with my sincere love for coaching and genuine desire to see people do what they love, I would be honoured to teach someday and to live a life of continuous learning. I have no idea if I will go further in my studies or if there is a doctor in this house but I do know this. If you have ever thought you might like to go back to school or try anything new for that matter, but were scared for fear of failure. You CAN do it!

If you think your life can’t change in the blink of an eye…think again. We, as humans, are powerful creatures filled with potential and possibilities. We just need to believe it!

Cheers to you and your journey whatever that means to you.

 Glo

Photo credit: Miles Bossons

2011 (C) – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Who would you invite?

September 15, 2011 By 8 Comments

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“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

Oprah said it well.  Having supportive family, friends and colleagues in our lives can make a major difference in how we perceive our life to be.  Demonstrating support is possible in many ways however it often includes listening, empathy, creating a safe and non-judgemental environment where we feel that what we say is important, and that we are valued.  People who demonstrate these qualities show us that they care, that they are in for the long haul, and that they believe in us.  They are demonstrating leadership.  Limo or bus, it makes no difference because they are along for the journey, not just for the ride.  And life is certainly a journey…

One of the very best ways to gain the support of others is to first offer your support to them, genuinely.  Reach out to them.  This is the amazing thing about humanity.  We, as humans, have the ability to offer support to others through the expression of kind words often left unspoken.  To show gratitude for what they bring to our lives.  And the simplest gesture can change a persons entire outlook for an otherwise average day.  That new outlook can cause a shift leading to new insights and possibilities of what may be. 

This seems most applicable in our personal lives but this is true as well, in our professional lives.  We may be the type to rush around from call to call and meeting to meeting without stopping for a breath let alone to acknowledge who might ride the bus with us.  This holds true for family, friends and colleagues alike.  Who can we count on to be there when we really need them?  And more importantly what might we do or say to show them how very important they are to us?

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You are important to me.  I’ll be waiting at the bus stop for you.  The cool IKEA one of course!  Will you join me?

Cheers, Glo

(C) 2011 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Oops!!

August 30, 2011 By Leave a Comment

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“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”

John Powell

Today I’ve been thinking about the implications of failing forward…or not.  This quote says so much.  Where is the learning if we put so much pressure on ourselves to perform that we leave no room to breathe let alone learn?  What is the value in that approach? What about others and their expectations of us?  How do we manage those and yet still maintain a healthy approach to learning? 

Creating a safe environment for both ourselves and others so that we may trust the process of learning is so critical to moving forward.  Surround yourself with people who care about you and support your intentions. Be open to feedback…and breathe deeply…

Why be a shoulda, coulda, woulda person when you can live a be, do, have life? I vote for making mistakes in life and learning from them. It sure beats never trying anything new!

(C) – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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like daughter like mother

August 18, 2011 By 4 Comments

You may have thought at first glance that the title of this post was backwards.  In this case, it is definitely a “like daughter like mother” scenario and this is why.  My sister, Deborah (left), is an afol which stands for adult fan of LEGO.  She builds some really cool things out of LEGO like beautiful villas with roofs that are removable to display her LEGO designed furniture (see below).  Deborah belongs to an amazing global community of like minded LEGO loving peeps.  They support each other, bounce ideas off of one another and go to shows all over the place to strut their stuff! 

Deborah was always the most naturally creative one in our family in terms of the arts.  Although she loved playing with LEGO as a child, she really started to get into it as an adult.  I invite you to check more of her amazing work out here on her flickr site:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/buildingsblockd/

My Mom, Mary (right), is the new kid on the block.  Literally!  She is new to building with LEGO however, she is already a pro builder!  Deborah has recently awakened the passion within our Mom to build.  LEGO has these nifty box sets which provides the builder with an instruction booklet and 3 choices of designs.  This is a great way to get familiar with the blocks and create something cool.  An added bonus is that LEGO is an excellent way to keep your cognitive functioning in check. 

Our Mom says she was fascinated by LEGO when we were kids but never really played with it much.  Mom has now completed 3 box sets and is presently working on a Harry Potter bank to add to her collection.  The picture below is her just this past weekend showing off her most recent accomplishment, a lighthouse.  At 80 years of age, she is thoroughly enjoying her new hobby and the challenge of putting the pieces of the puzzle together.  Sidenote: I think she looks so pretty in pink! 

This is a great reminder that we’re never too old to try something new.  Your mind will love the challenge.  You may be nervous at first and you may be one to dive right in.  You may get frustrated when you hit a roadblock and there are sure to be some.  But do yourself a favour and believe.  Believe in all that you are and all that you can be, do and have.  I believe in YOU!

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” ~ Henry Ford

Cheers, Glo

(C) 2011- True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Long par 3 anyone?

July 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment

This photo was taken last night around 8:30.  It’s the 2nd hole on the west side of Stonebridge and is our evening view from our deck.  We’re very grateful to our neighbours for their beautiful and mature landscaping and the nature that surrounds us.  Our landscaping is a work in progress but so much fun.  Fortunately, I’m learning so much from all of the gardeners in my life who are happy to share their wisdom.  This view is pure bliss for me and life is oh so good!

The bottom right part of the photo shows a tiny piece of one of the deck boards. Marc has this brilliant idea.  He thinks we should add a tee box to the deck and make it a long par 3!  Have to make it over the trees and the pond though. Hmmm…What do you think?

Even if you’re not a golfer, this view is so relaxing to the eye…sky is soft, colors are vibrant yet muted, air is still, the quiet is inspiring, life slows down, blood pressure drops…I look so forward to this time.

The early summer morning is when my energy is highest and my mind is buzzing with ideas for writing.  I must say that my energy is rarely as high in the cold winter mornings.  It just doesn’t do it for me.  Perhaps the value of nasty winter weather is the contrast of these gorgeous summer days and nights.  I often wonder if people who live in beautiful sunny weather year round even notice it day after day.

Wherever you live and hang your hat, may you enjoy the days and nights.  Let them take your breath away if even for a brief moment.

“There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.” ~ Celia Thaxter ♥

Cheers, Glo

(C) – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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