Life Lessons From Our Dog, Sandi

May 25, 2012 By 3 Comments

As I was walking the dog on this beautiful May morning, I was reminded of all the many life lessons she has taught me. Like most family dogs I suppose, she is always on the lookout for the next walk or crumb to fall on the kitchen floor. She is almost 13 and these things haven’t changed. She lives the good life and in fact, her bed says “living the good life” right on it! Enjoy these words of wisdom from her. They are simple but true.

When in doubt, go for a walk. It clears your head and allows you to see things from a different perspective.

 You can never give or receive too much love. Love that is unconditional is even better.

 Enjoy your treats. It’s important to eat well and follow a healthy lifestyle but treats were invented for a reason too.

Be grateful for simple pleasures. When we have pizza, Sandi always gets a few pieces of the pepperoni. She sits quietly waiting. When she scores, the way she licks her lips, you’d think you had given her a 10 ounce steak.

 Take a different route at least once a week. Different smells, sights and sounds will make you feel more alive and aware. It makes you curious about what’s coming up around the corner.

 Stop and smell the flowers (or the hydrant). Take your time. Learn to practice patience. Enjoy the small things. Live your life with purpose and meaning.

 Put your attention, energy, and focus on what you do want (thanks Marlene). This is how you will get more of it. This seems to work well for Sandi. She knows when we’re going out and she knows how to swindle her way into coming with us. She LOVES the car.

 Take power naps when you can. 10-15 minute snoozes rejuvenate you and create a whole new energy.

 Leave your footprints everywhere that matters to you. If you want to try something new or go somewhere new, make a realistic plan and follow the steps to get you there. Better to have left your mark than to have wished you had.

 Feel good about your ability to sit and listen without speaking. This can be the greatest gift you offer someone in need of an ear.

If you need to help to get up on the couch as Sandi does or to do anything else, ask. Asking is a sign of courage and strength. Take comfort in knowing that.

 Once in awhile, turn off the air conditioning in the car. Roll down your window and enjoy the breeze on your face. Let the wind soak into you and fill you with a renewed sense of energy, of being fully alive.

 Look directly into the sun and towards the light. Let the warmth sooth your skin and fill your heart and soul with delight.

 It’s a good life…

Enjoy the sunshine! Glo

(C) 2012 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon 

 

 

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Developing mindfulness: presence of mind, body, and soul

May 2, 2012 By 6 Comments
The practice of patience guards us against losing our presence of mind. It enables us to remain undisturbed, even when the situation is really difficult. It gives us a certain amount of inner peace, which allows us some self-control, so that we can choose to respond to situations in an appropriate and compassionate manner, rather than being driven by our disturbing emotions. – Dalai Lama
 
After reading this quote by the Dalai Lama on facebook, it triggered the desire to write a post about meditation. Meditation and mindfulness have brought tremendous value to my life. Whenever something has a positively profound effect, I like to share my experience with others. The practice of meditation has been around for a very long time. I think we each have our own visual of what meditation might look like on the outside. Some of them are probably all zen like in some ashram in India or a Buddhist temple. Some, related to nature, water, mountains, and or the sky. Perhaps the posture for seated meditation with fragrant incense or candles burning. Lying on the ground practicing various breathing techniques and creating an awareness of all of your senses. Maybe it’s at the beginning or end of a yoga class. Whatever images you conjure up, you are in essence creating a vision of what it feels like to practice mindfulness. Presence of mind, body, and soul.
 
For those who are keen to be fully aware of the space internally and externally and or for those who are looking for inner peace and a sense of calm, or looking to create a powerful sustainable energy within, I highly recommend giving meditation a try. If you are weirded out or skeptical about the benefits but still curious, try it at home. So many of us in our busy day to day lives, could benefit from this approach to slowing down. Even leaders in organizations, and their direct reports, can benefit from leading and living with mindfulness. In fact, a favorite HBR article which highlights the need to slow down and smell the roses is Slow Down, You Move Too Fast by Tony Schwartz. And a coaching colleague and friend of mine, Adam Kay, is embarking on a PhD with a focus on mindfulness and leadership. So there must be more and more interest on the subject even from a scholarly perspective. A link between mindfulness through yoga practice in entrepreneurs has been referenced in Namaste: What Entrepreneurs Can Learn From Yoga. If you have an interest in losing weight with a focus on mindfulness, I encourage you to visit the website of Marlene Keys and Anna Varriano, partners in Mindful Weight Control . Like everything in life, however, I don’t believe meditation is for everyone but I do believe we can all benefit from slowing down and being more mindful. Interested? Keep reading as I offer some suggestions for resources.
 
There are many resources available today to help us ease into a practice of mindfulness, many of which are low cost and provide us with the flexibility to practice in the comfort of our own home if we wish. As I enjoy the solitude of early morning, I use a DVD by Rodney Yee called A.M. P.M. Meditation which offers short 25 minute meditations. I really like this DVD for a number of reasons. It includes some great breathing techniques, very basic yoga stretches, and has the power to take me away while being fully present. I’ve learned to embrace and expand my reach. This DVD can be purchased online or in person at any Chapters, Indigo or Amazon for under $15.00.
 
All that said, I’ve recently been introduced to a few new resources suggested through friends. One is an app on the iPAD called Mindfulness which although I have yet to try it, comes with many different settings and options and at a very low cost. Another low cost app is MentalWorkout with 5 programs, one being Mindfulness Meditation. Another friend suggested a book called Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation by author Sharon Salzberg. I also came across a very cool resource on facebook called YogaGlo which offers yoga and meditation classes through live streaming. I was initially intrigued by the name because whenever I tell people my name is Glo, they look at me funny. I always have to explain my name is Gloria but I truly prefer Glo. I recall having a good giggle over that one! Anyway, after doing some research on their website, I realized what a terrific concept this was. Glo in this case stands for “Global” enabling participants from around the world to benefit from some world reknown instructors at a nominal cost and without having to leave the comfort of your own home. I also recommend following their page on facebook because they have great tips, articles and blog posts on practicing yoga and mindfulness. I confess that I have yet to try a class but I know I will in time. YogaGlo has a Beginners Center and is located in Santa Monica, CA.
 
Hopefully this blog post has been helpful in creating further awareness of how the practice of meditation and mindfulness can be accessed. Although there are many links to external resources and articles, I believe they will prove useful as you embark on your journey of discovery. If you have any additional suggestions for resources, please drop me a comment. I would love to read about them and share with others.
 
Namaste, Glo
 
(C) 2012 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon
 
 
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Indelible Moments…

February 25, 2012 By 8 Comments

“We all have indelible moments, memorable occasions that live like video clips in our inner vision for a lifetime and become imprinted into our Being. These memories are enormously important to the warmth and camaraderie we show each other along the journey.” ~ Dr. Marilyn Atkinson from Flow: The Core of Coaching

On Wednesday of this week, I graduated from the University of Guelph with a Master of Arts in Leadership. This was indeed an “indelible moment.” The parchment is pretty awesome and it looks fabulous hanging in my office. But, the parchment is exactly that. It is a symbol that we can achieve what we set out to if we focus and believe in what is possible. The human spirit is truly remarkable with such energy and potential. It is there for the asking…waiting to give us purpose.

This photo of me shaking hands with Alastair Summerlee, President and Vice-Chancellor of the University of Guelph with well known scholar Peter Senge smiling in the background was a moment to be remembered. The memories and waves of emotion  that come with that “indelible moment” however, are far more than a symbol. The memories created are beyond words and so, I’m not sure I will even do them justice but will try. They span across years past and a new understanding of years to come. They include building meaningful relationships with people who offer kindness and encouragement as a source of support. Being part of a community of like minded individuals who have a zest for learning…and for laughing! Learning that it is ok not to know the answer but rather just to trust the process. Learning as well, that often times “it depends” really is the answer. Having a firm belief that being a leader is not reserved for the few at the top but rather it is a choice available to each and every one of us if we so choose.

A heartfelt thank you to the faculty and staff at the University of Guelph and my M.A. Leadership classmates for this incredible journey and “indelible moment.”

If you have an interest in learning more about this life changing program designed for working professionals, I invite you to click on this link. It will change your life!

Glowing with pride and joy, Glo

(C) 2012 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Planting Seeds

January 20, 2012 By 2 Comments
the wise gardener plants seeds of opportunity even when there is snow on the ground

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In life and in business, opportunities and possibilities are abundant. Laying the foundation for opportunity however, requires vision, discipline, commitment and often forgotten but very important, patience. A clear vision of what we want. A disciplined mind to keep us focused on achieving what we want. A commitment to strike a balance between taking action and pausing. And this is where patience comes into play. Often times when we are planting seeds for new possibilities, we need to take a pause.  The pause can be as important as the action. The pause is a time of reflection. It is a time for questions. It is a time for learning. The pause requires patience. And patience, as we’ve often heard, is a virtue. 

We are all gardeners. Gardeners in life and or in business. And as gardeners, we need to find that healthy balance so that we are planting seeds throughout the year rather than making it an annual event. If we have a vision for what we want to accomplish, we need only to plant the seeds. Take the time to create a plan, to determine the resources we have as well as the resources we need to acquire. We need to be open to questioning our plan and our motives as we continue. This only creates further clarity. Take a pause when needed. Take stock of the seeds. Do they align with our vision? How might they be even better aligned to support our overall goals?

And then watch. I invite you to sit in the bigscreen theatre of life. To believe. To watch as our seeds sprout. Our “ideas” and “hopes” and “dreams” come to fruition but first we must plant the seeds.

Best wishes for healthy sprouts!

Glo

(C) 2012 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Why Feelings Matter

January 9, 2012 By 6 Comments

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

I’ve heard this quote from Maya Angelou so many times and every time I hear it, it brings a different meaning and a different memory. It’s no big secret. Some people are comfortable openly discussing their feelings and expressing emotion and some people are not. I’m at work! I don’t want to talk about my feelings or emotions! Who cares how I feel or how you feel? I do. I care. And you may too.

Our feelings and our emotions play a big role in how we make decisions, whether we realize it or not. When we say something feels right or feels wrong, we are relying on our intuition to guide us. When we make decisions, we may look at the facts first but when it comes to the heart of the problem or the issue, we rely on our morals and ethics. Even for those who typically make decisions based on logic and reason, often there is also that inner voice telling you what is good or bad, true or false, honest or dishonest. Life is life. Business is business. It is rarely, if ever, made up of simple checks and balances. Sometimes, it’s just plain complicated. As author of Defining Moments, Joseph Badaracco Jr. says, sometimes we’re making decisions between right and right. We all experience these ”defining moments” at one time or another. These moments define who we are. They speak to our personal values and they show the world what we believe in. These moments bring emotions to the forefront and they shape our character.

As Maya Angelou says so well, “people will never forget how you made them feel.” When you think of the people who have played a positive role in your life, have you ever stopped to think exactly why these people made you feel good? Were they trustworthy? Loving? Supportive?  Did they challenge you? Did they bring out the best in you? What have you learned from these experiences that shape who you are and how you treat people? Have you ever gone back to tell someone what a profound impact they had on you? How do you think that made them feel? Has someone ever done that for you? Wow, what a feeling that is!

Howard Gardner wrote a book in 2007 called Five Minds for the Future. He speaks of the disciplinary mind, the synthesizing mind, the creating mind, the respectful mind, and the ethical mind in leadership. If you are interested in learning how to stimulate your brain in a new way, it is a great read. It also speaks to the relationship between emotions, feelings, respect, and ethics. These combined, act as a guide for treating people well and help us when making important decisions.

Hopefully this post made you “feel good” and brought back memories of people who treated you with respect and made you feel good!

With gratitude, Glo

(C) 2012 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Do you believe in miracles?

November 28, 2011 By 2 Comments

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One could say that miracles are like magic. Some believe, some don’t, so what.  Well, the so what factor happens to be very telling. It is telling of who we are as individuals. What our personal values are. What brings meaning to our lives. It is telling of how we make decisions.

Life today is complex yet simple. Business today is chaotic yet inspiring. Tiny miracles pop up out of nowhere it seems and surprise us. These miracles create small change and massive change in both individuals and in organizations. These tiny miracles create insights often leading to wisdom.

The laws of nature … describe the ways in which the world—including, of course, human beings—works when left to itself, when not interfered with. A miracle occurs when the world is not left to itself, when something distinct from the natural order as a whole intrudes into it. (Mackie 1982: 19–20)

But alas, you must believe. You must believe in what is possible. You must accept that it’s ok not to know the how part of the equasion. A difficult task no doubt. You must get comfortable with not being right. Easier for some than for others. Not everything in this world is a result of cause and effect. For instance, you must believe that what you say and do truly matter. And it matters because at the heart of what we say and do is our personal integrity. But to believe that anything is possible, that miracles do occur and often when we least expect them, because a butterfly flapped it’s wings in another part of the world, this is to believe in miracles.

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

Miracles are all around us. We just need to open our eyes and hearts in order to see and feel them.

Note: Many of the ideas from this post were generated through the work of Margaret J. Wheatley’s, Leadership and the New Science.

Cheers, Glo

C (2011) - True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Frost on the pumpkin

October 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment

First frost, brrrrr!  Need to bundle up to take the dog for a walk in the morning.  It’s no secret that summer is my favorite season but there is much to be said for curling up by the fire, wearing cozy fleece, that first blush of cool air as it hits your face when you open the door, crock pot dinners, and pumpkins.  Yes, that’s right, I said pumpkins.  Can anything make you feel like a kid again faster than Halloween and a pumpkin patch?  Is this picture of my neice Jenna (many moons ago) not the cutest thing ever?

Halloween is kind of a cool time of year because wearing a costume allows us to become someone else, to try it out, try it on, and to see if we like it.  Maybe we will like it more.  Maybe others will notice too.  Maybe this is when we believe we are at our best because we are open to growing, learning. changing behaviours, attitudes and actions to create better and more positive outcomes.  This is the true value of coaching.  It allows us to design our futures and to try things on for size. 

When you think of all of the pumpkins in a pumpkin patch, what do you notice?  I notice that they are all different sizes, shapes, colors and although there are a ton of them we seem to be able to pick out the one that is just perfect (for us).  Well, just like picking out your pumpkin you have the inner wisdom to make choices that are perfect (for you) in all aspects of your life, personal and professional.  It’s true that some choices are made for us but we also have choices to make about  who we become as a result of those choices.  Are we victims?  Are we assigning blame or are we active participants in our own lives (thanks, Katie!) trying on different costumes while remaining true to ourselves and living with personal integrity?  I vote for the latter.  What about you?  Looking to make a change?  If so, remember that you have choices.  Get inspired by your inner wisdom! 

 

Cheers, Glo

(C) 2011 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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A wonderful weekend read

October 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

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It must be October.  It is a chilly and overcast Sunday afternoon. The fireplace is on for the first time this season.  Marc is making my favorite soup (mulligatawny).  The dog is snoring away in front of the fire.  And I am reading this most amazing book.  The kind that you can’t put down.  The kind that has you going back to re read a specific passage or jumping ahead to take a quick look at what is in store in the next chapter. 

Ironically, I received Leadership and the New Science by author Margaret J. Wheatley for Christmas last year from our son, Tom.  It has been sitting on my night table ever since, waiting patiently. Waiting for that right moment in time when reading oodles of new journal articles for my research paper would become less urgent.  I had read one chapter of this book last fall during one of the courses in my program, Leadership of Organizational Change.  It was on the list of recommended reading by our Professor, Dr. Jamie Gruman.  I enjoyed that chapter so much, I wanted more…and more I got…

This isn’t a book review.  I simply wanted to share with you a few quotes that have my mind churning with possibility, curiosity and hope.  Not only as a leadership coach, but as a lover of life and people.  If it inspires you to purchase the book and to read further, enjoy…I know I certainly have.

“I find pleasure in letting these new ideas swirl freely inside me. Like clouds, they begin as mist, then take form, then dissipate. Clouds themselves are self-organizing, taking new shape as thunderstorms, hurricanes, or rain fronts depending on changes in their environment. We are capable of similar transformations; new ideas can emerge as powerful insights if we allow them the freedom to self-organize.  And there is much we can learn from clouds.  They are spectacular examples of fluid and responsive systems, structured in ways we never imagined possible: ‘”After all, how do you hold a hundred tons of water in the air with no visible means of support? You build a cloud”‘ (Cole 1985, 38) (Wheatley, 2006, 90).

“In all types of organizations, too many filled with people exhausted, cynical, and burned-out, I have witnessed the incredible levels of energy and passion that can be evoked when leaders or colleagues take the time to recall  people to the meaning of their work.  It only takes a simple but powerful question: ‘”What called you here? What were you dreaming you might accomplish when you first came to work here?”  This question always elicits a deep response because so few of us work for trivial purposes.  Most people come to their organizations with a desire to do something meaningful, to contribute and serve…If we are asked to recall that inner belief, and if we hear our colleagues speak about their own yearnings to make a small difference, we feel new energy for the work and for each other.  The call of meaning is unlike any other, and we would do well to spend more time together listening for the deep wells of purpose that nourish all of us” (Wheatley, 2006, 133).

Hoping these may have resonated with you and possibly elicited thoughts of learning, change and engagement.  Back to my book…last chapter…this time around.

Happy Sunday.

Glo

(c) 2011- True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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“Back to school” has new meaning…

September 25, 2011 By 4 Comments

The term back to school has different meanings for a few of my family members this year.  My niece Jenna (left) is a second year student at The University of Western Ontario commonly known as Western. (Can you tell I just copied the uni name directly from her facebook profile?) Jenna is doing a B.Sc. honours with a specialization in biology also known as she is a science brainiac. I will never forget how excited she was in high school to report dissecting some strange rodent. Gross! What is new for Jenna this year is that she is no longer in residence making university life a completely different experience for her. She is sharing a house with 4 other girls and lovin’ it. Now don’t get me wrong.  Jenna isn’t exactly “slumming” it in London! She and her roomies have created a pretty cool haven for living the good life with a little bit of room for studying. Jenna has been a continuous source of encouragement and inspiration for me during my academic journey. When I was taking Research Methods (insert I failed Grade 9 math), it was Jenna that I reached out to for support.

Next up is my niece Katie (right). Katie is a 30 something first year film loving student at York University in Toronto. She is enrolled in the four year honours program for film studies which also means she watches all of those movies that the general population has never heard of! This has been a big year of change for Katie and the changes aren’t finished. She went to New York and to Europe for the first time, moved in with her boyfriend and most recently gave up her job as an admin to go back to school and pursue her love of film. I secretly wonder if this photo of her looking up at the statue of Napolean in sheer awe is simply a precursor to her new journey with university life!  She too, has been an amazing sense of encouragement and support.  In fact, I believe Katie was the first one to say “you should do a PhD!”

Soooo…speaking of PhD…this is something that is on my mind these days. I must admit that it comes and goes though. Presently I’m doing a research paper towards completion of an M.A. Leadership degree at the University of Guelph. Yup! Even though I was scared to death and I REALLY was, I went back to school in my mid 40′s to pursue a university degree and to enhance my learning as an executive coach. I have never looked back. It has been a very challenging yet rewarding experience. 

Back to the flip flop…Because I am so passionate about my research topic (using executive coaching to increase employee engagement), there are days and fleeting moments when I don’t want it to end. I want to be able to take my topic and the “coaching for engagement” model that I have developed and take it to the next level. But hello! We’re talking about four years here and there are SO many things to consider! Fortunately for me, my amazing husband Marc, is 100% behind me.

While I am contemplating this massive decision and researching what it “truly” means, I also have a new view of back to school. I am a Teaching Assistant to the new cohort in my program for Leadership of Organizational Change. Teaching and the education system seem to run through the veins in my family.  My Mom was our elementary school secretary.  My Dad completed his university degree while working full-time in the military. My sister Anne, is a teacher who completed her teaching degree with two young children in tow.  My sister Deborah, is a teacher who has just experienced her last back to school and is retiring in June 2012 to pursue her love of travel and LEGO (not necessarily in that order!).  And my sister Linda is pursuing her Chefs diploma while juggling a very busy career and family life. 

Along with my sincere love for coaching and genuine desire to see people do what they love, I would be honoured to teach someday and to live a life of continuous learning. I have no idea if I will go further in my studies or if there is a doctor in this house but I do know this. If you have ever thought you might like to go back to school or try anything new for that matter, but were scared for fear of failure. You CAN do it!

If you think your life can’t change in the blink of an eye…think again. We, as humans, are powerful creatures filled with potential and possibilities. We just need to believe it!

Cheers to you and your journey whatever that means to you.

 Glo

Photo credit: Miles Bossons

2011 (C) – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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Who would you invite?

September 15, 2011 By 8 Comments

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“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

Oprah said it well.  Having supportive family, friends and colleagues in our lives can make a major difference in how we perceive our life to be.  Demonstrating support is possible in many ways however it often includes listening, empathy, creating a safe and non-judgemental environment where we feel that what we say is important, and that we are valued.  People who demonstrate these qualities show us that they care, that they are in for the long haul, and that they believe in us.  They are demonstrating leadership.  Limo or bus, it makes no difference because they are along for the journey, not just for the ride.  And life is certainly a journey…

One of the very best ways to gain the support of others is to first offer your support to them, genuinely.  Reach out to them.  This is the amazing thing about humanity.  We, as humans, have the ability to offer support to others through the expression of kind words often left unspoken.  To show gratitude for what they bring to our lives.  And the simplest gesture can change a persons entire outlook for an otherwise average day.  That new outlook can cause a shift leading to new insights and possibilities of what may be. 

This seems most applicable in our personal lives but this is true as well, in our professional lives.  We may be the type to rush around from call to call and meeting to meeting without stopping for a breath let alone to acknowledge who might ride the bus with us.  This holds true for family, friends and colleagues alike.  Who can we count on to be there when we really need them?  And more importantly what might we do or say to show them how very important they are to us?

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You are important to me.  I’ll be waiting at the bus stop for you.  The cool IKEA one of course!  Will you join me?

Cheers, Glo

(C) 2011 – True Bliss Coach Gloria Higdon

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